We here at MyGournal take our spirituality very seriously. It is a huge part of our lives, but we are accepting of all beliefs, creeds, and religions, that is why we practice every religion. Today, on the 200th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s and Abraham Lincoln’s birth, we received a MySpace message from our favorite religious icon, Jesus. He’s a really funny dude, even cooler than he is portrayed in biblical literature. Jesus, or Ol’ Holy Bastard (OHB), as we at MyGournal have come to call him, had a lot to share, and told us that he would like to share it with you. So, here it goes. This is a translation from Aramaic, thankfully the scholars at MyGournal are fluent and excellent translators.
Yo! What’s crackin’ G’s!,
You down with O.H.B.? Yea you know me! Ha, I haven’t spoke to y’all in ages. I be up here chillin’ like a villain in Heaven. You know it’s tight as hell up here, you’ll see. Pops has been keepin’ things on lock in your hood, but man, y’all on earth have been whack as shit for real. Whatever though, the big man will take care of his shit, and they will get theirs. Y’all don’t have anything to worry about, all you need to worry about is adding ya boy on myspace. Check out Chuck’s page too, its tight as hell.
What else, shit, I gotta stop cussin’ so much. I chill with Abe and Chuck too much. Oh yea, give a shout-out to my boy Chuck Darwin. 200 years old and he still gets all the pussy he wants. Ha! We’ll see when hes 2000 like me how much game he’s got, all ya boy’s gotta do is walk on water and you know those bitches get wet. Aight, I got some shit to take care of, so I’m gonna bounce. I’ll be checkin’ back with y’all soon. Holla at ya boy!