Rory’s Round-up: Week 2

The best part about watching EPL games at your parents house (as a 32 year old) is that you get to eat chocolate chip pancakes while you watch soccer. And that they love you too. Mostly pancakes though. Here are the games I watched!


Manchester United 4 – Swansea 0

There’s good news and bad news for the Swans this week. The good is that they are way richer and they only have to play United once more. The bad is that they lost their best player, don’t have a replacement, teams will overcharge them for anyone, and got thrashed by the league’s top team. It was close for most of the game, but Swansea couldn’t keep it going, giving up 3 goals in the span of 4 minutes. When Manchester United have it going, they look so unstoppable right now. If they stay injury free, they’ll be really tough to beat.


Liverpool 1 – Crystal Palace 0

I have no idea how Liverpool got a clean sheet, but Palace looked pretty anemic going forward. They played more like a shitty Chinese restaurant than a shiny castle. They really missed Zaha on the wing, it was pretty obvious. Benteke missed an easy chance to go up, but other than that, Palace didn’t have much. Liverpool, on the other hand, actually looked solid at the back for most of the game. With a mostly new back line, Andrew Robertson really shined going forward (although I’d like to see him play defense. Mane saved the day and was the best player on the field yet again. The only real negative for Liverpool was the midfield. They were pretty invisible and uninspiring most of the game. Klopp was pleased though, and so am I.


Stoke 1 – Arsenal 0

I only caught part of the game because a guy has got to tan, but it sounded pretty funny. Arsenal failed to capitalize on all the momentum they built in the last 5 minutes of the previous game. Typical.


Huddersfield 1 – Newcastle 0

This wasn’t a great game, but I like the way Huddersfield play. They play fast and run a lot. If they can keep it up over the whole season, they have a decent shot of staying up. Newcastle looked more like Oldcastle, because they were unimpressive and looked to be going down. They really missed Jonjo’s fun antics this game.


Chelsea 2 – Tottenham 1

This was a really fun game, in spite of me wanting Spurs to win the whole time. Marcos Alonso scored a goal that rivals his hair in personal beauty, and his second was more like David Luiz’s hair. Meaning crazy. Lloris should’ve probably done better on it (but the defense left him out to dry). Michy Batshuyai scored, but for the wrong team, which makes sense for him. I hope he can get it right one day. It was a good result for Chelsea, and I’m sure Spurs will feel like they should’ve done better with their chances.


Manchester City 1 – Everton 1

Rooooooooooooooooooooooooney! Everton played really well again, but a poor clearance by Mason Holgate got City back in. It could’ve gone either way and I think this was a fair result. Rooney though, he can’t be stopped.


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