Tag Archives: football

Mygournal Sandwich Shop

Historically, sandwiches have been linked with athletes since the beginning of time. From Lawrence Taylor’s B.L.T. to the Reuben (invented by running back Reuben Droughns), athletically-named sandwiches have been a staple in the diets of American citizens. Here at the Mygournal Sandwich Shop, we have created some fictional and not so fictional sandwiches for the viewing and tasting public. Enjoy, but eat with care.

The Jake Delhommewich – A delicious sandwich with aged meats and cheeses, but the only problem is it’s expensive. It costs $42.50 and when you order it, it will most likely be given to someone at a different table.

The Ben Roethlisberger Burger – The burger will undoubtedly make you fatter and grow a chinstrap beard. It tastes like you’re eating concrete after you fell off a motorcycle. Not a recommended sandwich.

The Matt Leinhart Black Bean Sandwich – This sandwich is full of beans and so is Matt Leinhart.

The JaMarcus Russell  Roast Beef Sandwich- The picture on the menu makes this sandwich look like it is a top choice sandwich, but once you taste it, you will instantly regret ordering it. An expensive sandwich that tastes exactly like shit.

The Joe Namath Kebab- A great snack after a night or day of binge drinking. This old time favorite also really hits the spot after sexually harassing young women. Order this street meat and win, I guarantee it.

The Eli Manning Turkey Sandwich- Not the best sandwich in the world but can often be the best sandwich on the menu. Sometimes it comes out great but most of the time you can barely take a bite. If the Peyton Manning Ham sandwich is available, it is advisable to order it instead.

The Vince Young Chicken Salad Sandwich- This is a great sandwich when your on the run. If you’re not in a rush or have a normal I.Q. then this sandwich isn’t for you. It is imporant to note that the Vince Young is made from bread then has a tendency to crumble with pressure is applied, so eat it with great care.

The Tim Tebow Club Sandwich- Best sandwich on the planet. You couldn’t fit any more meat in between two pieces of white bread. I’d bet Tebow’s Christian faith that this sandwich will make you praise the lord for creating such a fantastic blend of meat and bread.

The Philly Vick-Steak – A delicious blend of Provolone cheese and lean dog meat.

The Mark Sanchez Breakfast Burrito – You would think this sandwich is authentic mexican food when ordering it, but the meat is actually just good old American Hot Dog mixed with scrambled eggs, because sometimes Sanchez has egg on his face from his rookie mistakes.

The Brett Favre Ham and Cheese – The meat in this sandwich went rotten a long time ago, but people still seem to order it. This is definitely the most polarized sandwich, as people either love it or hate it, but eating it will undoubtedly make you sick eventually.

The Brady Quinn American Cheese Sandwich – All American like Brady Quinn, and all cheese like Brady Quinn. All this guy does is smile for the camera, and like Quinn, the sandwich never gets ordered. Well, Brady loves the sandwich, but no one else seems to.

JaMarcus Russell

Ronaldo’s Replacement

This is going to be a little different than the humorous article that is normally published by the mygournal team, but I’m getting tired of reading the retarded articles about who will replace the irreplaceable Cristiano Ronaldo. With the sale of Ronaldo for 131 million dollars, or about 80 million pounds, they can afford any player in the world. Let me make it clear that no player signed will make the immediate impact that Ronaldo can on the United team, but that doesn’t mean Sir Alex Ferguson can’t sign someone awesome. Here is my list of people I would like to replace Ronaldo:

5. Karim Benzema – Forward, Lyon – He’s not a winger and he won’t directly replace Ronaldo, but he will score and he’s young. This would move Rooney out to the wing probably, but he’s shown he can play there. I wouldn’t do this move unless Tevez isn’t coming back, but it’d be a good signing nonetheless.

4. Wesley Sjneider – Midfielder, Real Madrid – He’s dutch, he’s very good, and he probably won’t play a lot at Real Madrid. Man Utd might be able to get him for cheap or a direct swap, and he would make an impact in the midfield for sure.

3. David Silva – Winger, Valencia – He showed in Euro 2008 that he is a world class player, and he might be available for pretty cheap, due to the financial woes at Valencia, so why not go for him. He is really young and talented, but he is small and it is difficult to tell how he would handle the physical nature of the English Premiership. Maybe Manchester could pull of a deal to get him and David Villa for 40 million euros or so, that would be amazing.

2. Franck Ribery – Midfielder, Bayern Munich – He’s arguably the best winger behind Messi and Ronaldo, and he will definitely make an impact, but Bayern Munich has said they want anywhere from 20 to 80 million euros for him. I do not want to see him go to United for any more than 30 million euros. He’s very good, but he’s 27, small and French, and has not proven that he can play in the Premiership yet.

1. Ashley Young – Winger, Aston Villa – He’s so awesome, I can’t even describe it. He’s won the young player of the year 2 times in the premiership and he’s proven he can play. The only problem is that he won’t come cheap, but maybe still cheaper than Ribery. At 23 he is the top choice to me, and I’m sure he couldn’t resist playing in the Champions League for Manchester United.

Honorable Mention –

-Freddy Adu – Midfielder, Benefica – He’s awesome and young but he wouldn’t play very much at Manchester. If they could get him for cheap it would be a great buy for the future.
-Ryan Babel – Winger/Striker, Liverpool – He’s been speculated to be on the outs at Liverpool, but it’s doubtful he would go to Manchester, especially since he has failed to make an impact under the “genius” Benitez. He has the talent to be world class though.

Also, I have to look into Antonio Valencia. It is looking more and more like Man Utd are going to sign him, but I don’t know much about him, so I don’t have much to comment on. He was on Wigan, and pretty young, and probably wouldn’t be too expensive, but I don’t know if he’s Manchester United quality. Apparently he has been attracting the attention of many top clubs such as Liverpool, so he can’t be that bad.